Archive for May, 2011

24
May
11

Stuff You Don’t Care About: Issue 8: Yelp this, ya Bastard

This a quick and easy post. The following is a restaurant review I wrote for Yelp.com. If you’re not familiar with Yelp, it is a website where your average joe can post a review for various establishments like restaurants, bars, and whatnot. It is also a den of evil, where lies are generated and spread though the internet like a cancer. In my case, after I posted my review, they promptly removed it. It seems the rest of the reviews for the site were positive, and they did not like my honest criticism.

Behold:

“Marker 20 is danger to society. The inside is crowded and the floor is covered with metal caltrops, the same kind that were used to cripple horses in roman chariot races. You’re strapped to a booth where a large man in a leather mask comes over and force feeds you blackened fish through your nostrils.

Or you can choose to sit outside on the patio, where the wait staff pours boiling wax on your genitals, while chimpanzees and spider monkeys attack you from the rafters above looking for fleas in your hair.

I ate there and I swear that there are now less stars in the sky because of it. I’m just sayin’.”

Advertisements