Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category

20
Sep
13

Stuff You Don’t Care About: Issue 10: Go Potty

So, my son is out of diapers with… mixed results. Wrote a song about it. Like to hear it? Hear it go:

Go Potty

My son is getting bigger
And we have him out of diapers
But he just just keeps on peeing (uh)
In whatever clothes he’s wearing

(Look)
You’ve come too far to put stains in your shorts
So please use the pot, because that’s what it’s for

I’m up all night with my son
He’s up all night to do one
He’s up all night to go two
We’re up all night to go potty

I’m up all night with my son
He’s up all night to do one
He’s up all night to go two
We’re up all night to go potty

We’re up all night to go potty
We’re up all night to go potty
We’re up all night to go potty
We’re up all night to go potty

I really love parenting
It’s the gift that keeps on giving,
But what is this smell I’m smelling?
Why’s the back of your pant’s swelling? (ew)

You’ve come too far to put stains in your shorts
So please use the pot, because that’s what it’s for

I’m up all night with my son
He’s up all night to do one
He’s up all night to go two
We’re up all night to go potty

I’m up all night with my son
He’s up all night to do one
He’s up all night to go two
We’re up all night to go potty

We’re up all night to go potty
We’re up all night to go potty
We’re up all night to go potty
We’re up all night to go potty

(We’re up all night to go
We’re up all night to go
We’re up all night to go
We’re up all night to go)

(We’re up all night to go (together)
We’re up all night to get (let’s all go poop again)
We’re up all night to go stinky
We’re up all night to go potty)

(We’re up all night to go potty
We’re up all night to go potty
We’re up all night to go potty
We’re up all night to go potty)

(We’re up all night to go potty
We’re up all night to go potty
We’re up all night to go potty
We’re up all night to go potty)

You’ve (We’re up all night to go potty)
Come too far (We’re up all night to go potty)
To put stains (We’re up all night to go potty)
In your shorts (We’re up all night to go potty)
So please (We’re up all night to go potty
Use the pot (We’re up all night to go potty)
Because that’s (We’re up all night to go potty)
What it’s for (We’re up all night to go potty)

I’m up all night with my son
He’s up all night to do one
He’s up all night to go two
We’re up all night to go potty

I’m up all night with my son
He’s up all night to drain one
He’s up all night to go poo
We’re up all night to go potty

We’re up all night to go potty
We’re up all night to go potty
We’re up all night to go potty
We’re up all night to go potty

We’re up all night to go potty
We’re up all night to go potty
We’re up all night to go potty
We’re up all night to go potty

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14
Nov
11

Stuff You Don’t Care About: Issue 9: Sir Mixeth Often

Forsooth, dear Rebecca, feast thine eyes upon yon derriere!
It can only be described as copious.
Nay, the wench resembles a chattering bard’s romantic companion.
Though, in confession I must concede that I have no understanding of such as them.
Indeed, their chattering is only such, being due to her appearance as a harlot, I’faith?
Prithee her rump is so corpulent, and bulbous. It is obvious that it is grievously abhorrent, behold!
Be she so… Nubian!

An inclination have I for voluminous posteriors, and this is no untruth.
Nay, my brothers in arms, you cannot dispute this fact.
When you rest your eyes upon a maiden blessed with a humble midriff
And an elliptical form presented before you, one leaps to present his John Thomas
For you have realized the rump in question was cumbersome at best.
Buried in the confines of her bustle,
My fascination bids my eyes to remain stationary.
O wondrous Lady, that we could only rendezvous,
That I may render a delightful portrait in your likeness.
My entourage bid me caution,
But that backside you possess sets my loins aflame.
Ooh, elastic sickly epidermis.
I invite you to board my chariot, M’Lady.
Do what you will, what you will with me,
I’faith, you are an exceptional devotee.
I have witnessed her capering.
Affairs of the heart be damned!
She doth perspire, and is sodden as such.
Have she the status on par with a champion pedigree? I think so.
I grow weary of periodicals
That lay claim that petite behinds are all the fashion.
Present the question to a typical moor,
He will remind you of the contrary.
Yea, comrades! (Huzzah!) Comrades! (Huzzah!)
Doth thine companion be blessed with such a derriere? (Undoubtedly !)
Instruct that wench to jostle it vigorously! (Jostle it!) Jostle it! (Jostle it!)
Jostle thine physically fit backside.
Baby possess back!

04
Jun
10

For the Larry Stillwell Memoral Page

As many of you know, June the 4th marks the anniversary of my Father’s passing. Obviously, if you’re visiting this page, your life has been effected in some way him. I can only tell you what kind of effect this has had on me.

Things have changed drastically in my life in the past year. We had a new baby boy, born on October 8th. Unfortunately, my Pop never got to see him. My Mother has moved out of her house and relocated to Florida. At this point, I don’t have any actual family in the area. I’ve just moved into a new home, and money’s never been tighter.

It’s said that the death of a family member tends to bring the surviving member closer together. I really don’t feel that that has happened, at least not yet. Pop’s death should mean something, but it just doesn’t. No good has come of it. Yes, he’s in a better place, but what about the rest of us?

There were people that were responsible for his passing. I know this to be true and I will not be convinced otherwise. There has been no justice for there negligence, and there apparently never will be. Apparently, those individuals are exempt from their responsibilities when if comes to my Pop. I won’t go into the details. Most of you know them already. Thinking about it just enrages me to such an extent, that it has taken me all day just to write this post.

I will do as I have always done. I will not focus on things I have no control over. I will try not to blame myself for his passing. I will try to move on.

I love you Pop.

Click here for The Larry Stillwell Memorial Page